Romantic Comedies: Shaping and Changing Our View of What Love Is As We Grow Up

Lindsay Parks

Professor Sinowitz

Romantic Comedy

13 May, 2020

Romantic Comedies: Shaping and Changing Our View of What Love Is As We Grow Up 

Love: an intense feeling of deep affection. To some, love is just that simple: it is black and white; it is right or wrong; it is something that comes in one form and one form only. Romantic comedies have helped to shape views of love and what it means across decades from The Big Sick (2017) going all the way back to Jane Austen’s novel Pride and Prejudice and even further back to William Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing. Over the course of the semester we have examined many romantic comedies in the forms of both text and film and as we analyzed each new piece of work, we have again and again come back to the question of what is love. If love is this stereotypical happy ending that can be predicted within the first five minutes of the movie, then why do we continue to watch it? I argue that we watch these predictable and stereotypical films because while the plot of “boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back” may ultimately be the same, the situations that exist within the plot are different and unpredictable. We continue to watch these films because, much like growing up, they provide us with new outlooks and help us to continue to develop our own definition of what love is and over time become okay with the fact that it will not always stay the same and we will have to adapt to that. Although romantic comedies are deemed as stereotypical and predictable, each different romantic comedy portrays a different type of love, a different way in which love arises and ultimately prevails, giving the audience more and more hope that this happy ending can happen to them. Romantic comedies share common themes that show what love is and give the audience hope, and while romantic comedies share this common backbone, they also branch out to reach an audience in the current period and expand and show new versions of what love is. 

One of the most classic and known examples of an early romantic comedy is Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice. It is so woven into the backbone of romantic comedies that even in modern day examples such as Bridget Jones’ Diary, the protagonist literally calls her perfect man Mr. Darcy. Pride and Prejudice’s themes and ideas have become known as the stereotypical romantic comedy with modern romantic comedies taking these ideas and complicating and developing them further. While some may argue that Pride and Prejudice is just a simple, predictable, and unrealistic story that lacks importance in today’s society, I think that it has instead provided us with what we strive for, that simple stereotypical true love with the happy ending. It reminds me a lot of when girls are little and a boy pulls their hair. Society teaches us that when boys are mean and tease us it is because they like us. This idea stems back to Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy because throughout most of the book they banter and are forthcoming with what they believe to be their hatred of the other. Mr. Darcy does a lot of things that symbolize pulling her hair such as stating how plain she is or that he would never be interested in her. While this idea of pulling hair is simple, what is behind this saying embodies much more. However, at the time we are too young to realize the complexity of feelings and what love is, and so we simplify it down to that he “likes” you. We are much like Jane as Elizabeth tells her, “you are a great deal too apt you know, to like people in general. You never see fault in anybody” (Ch. 4). Pride and Prejudice and its role in the history and development of romantic comedies that help to answer our question of what love is, is much like that stage in our lives. On the surface, it is innocent, and everyone ends up with a happy ending, the only ending we are ready for at that age. However, as we grow up, and just like how romantic comedies develop over time, our definition of what love is changes and morphs to our experiences and without this starting point provided to us by Pride and Prejudice and our innocence as kids, we are not able to realize the complexities of life and how love is not always this innocent and pretty.

It Happened One Night (1934) by Frank Capra is specific to the time period and technology at the time as present within the movie is “Hays Code”, which was put into place at the time to hide sex and the idea of it within the movie as much as possible. This code and technology change the ability that the films have to include certain things as “the film industry depends on and responds quickly to changes in technology” (Corrigan 20). It Happened One Night is limited by the restraints of the Hays Code, but if one knows better, they are still able to pick up on the allusions to sexual tension present in the movie. This screwball romantic comedy takes place during the time period of the Great Depression and the elements of the movie make it relatable to the audience at the time. The two characters Peter and Ellie meet on a train, one a wealthy socialite and one a newspaper reporter. The movie continues throughout with Peter and Ellie continuously bantering and seemingly immune to the effects of the real world at the time. This movie has many stereotypical aspects of a romantic comedy such as the plot line, the overcoming of obstacles, and the happy ending, as well as others. However, it’s situations in which these similarities occur allow the audience to connect with it within the time period and to give them hope that even in the worst of times, like the Great Depression, good things can still happen and there is still hope for them to get their happy ending. 

The importance of this film in the timeline of romantic comedies is that it presents itself much like the times of when one is in their early teens. They are sheltered from the idea of sex, just like this film and many others during this time period because of the Hays Code, and the sly references to sex can sneak by an audience that does not know what to look for. The sexual tension between them plays out through class conflict and is eventually resolved when the class barrier is broken as it can be inferred when at the end Ellie runs away from her high-class life and elopes to a cottage with Peter what is taking place. Working in tandem with the class/sex allusion is also the sexual inuendoes that take place through Peter and Ellies banter. However, whether or not the audience knows what to look for, they at least can pick up on the fact that something is being hinted at. When watching this movie I was reminded of when I was younger and I would be watching a movie with my parents and all of a sudden they would pause it and tell me to go in the other room or would fast forward. At the time I had no idea if was because of the presence of sex in the movie, I just knew it was something I was not supposed to see. For example, with Peter and Ellie’s banter, the allusions to sex that can be inferred by the older and more informed audience are missed by those that have been sheltered. While the hardships of life are shown more in It Happened One Night than in previous romantic comedies, it still shows love as this force that overcomes all obstacles and something that always ends in a happy ending just like before in Pride and Prejudice. This movie, while sheltering the audience from “older themes”, serves as a transition point from earlier romantic comedies that seem purely innocent and the next wave of romantic comedies where more taboo topics become less hidden and more addressed. 

A film in between these older romantic comedies and more modern ones is Pillow Talk (1959) by Michael Gordon, and it is clear this movie breaks free from the past conventions and restrictions as the theme of sex is constantly eluded too through Jan’s talk of Brad’s conquests. More specifically, there is a scene where Jan and Brad are talking on the phone while both are in their bathtubs and in previous movies, the idea of a scene showing a character or characters with no clothes on in a tub would not be portrayed. Nonetheless, in this film it is conveyed as it if it is completely normal and the idea of sex is not nearly as taboo as it has been in the past. In fact, some people would even argue it does not fall under the genre of romantic comedy anymore but instead the sub-genre of a “sex comedy” as McDonald puts it. McDonald says the film “features some smaller tropes common to the mid-century sex comedy” (53) and such features include “the protagonists who seem to hate each other but are destined to be together, the fabulous bachelor apartment and the anti-marriage speech” (53). While this movie does incorporate the idea of sex much more into the film, it is not because it falls under a different sub-genre but because it is simply moving along with the times. 

These characteristics of the movie allow the idea of sex, which in movies past was not allowed, to be a more direct underlying tone in the film, just like how it was becoming more common in society at that time. For instance, there are multiple references throughout the film to “bedroom problems” and when Jan inspects Brad’s apartment it is clear what the actions his switches perform are meant to imply. This more direct approach to talking about sex in films allows the audience to connect more to the film and instead of villainizing sex and making it seem forbidden as previous films did, it instead begins to normalize it as well as the romantic comedy. This element makes romantic comedies seem more realistic than they have in the past and give people hope that they can still have this “fairytale romantic comedy” even if they are just normal people. McDonald talks about the typical element of how at first the two characters hate each other than grow to love each other and how that constitutes it as a romantic example of the sex comedy sub-genre because its counterparts do not end up with the same happy ending. However, she does not account for some of the other themes that make it such a romantic comedy such as the love at first sight element. Yes, Jan and Brad hated each other at first, but that was over the phone and never having seen each other. When they finally see each other in person, it is instant infatuation and secondly, it also incorporates the ever so predictable boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back element. This movie can be connected to a time of coming of age, much like the college experience, when one breaks out from the watch of their parents and their life becomes less innocent and protected. It rejects the idea portrayed about love in earlier films by showing that it is not always innocent, and it does not always follow the idealized timeline for love and intimate relationships. It begins to show love in a more complicated and messy light. 

Lost in Translation (2003) by Sofia Coppola, while being classified as a modern romantic comedy, still incorporates some of the stereotypical romantic comedy elements such as the incorporation of “the green world” as Frye calls it that is a world outside of reality, that is able to escape the problems of reality and exist in a world where the characters are happy in their own world. Bob and Charlotte exist in their own world when traveling in Tokyo and build a strong relationship, however, the difference from past romantic comedies is that the two do not end up together in the end. As McDonald says, it “abandons the emphasis on making sure the couple ends up together” (59). Once again, the movie moving along with the times helps to paint romantic comedies in a more obviously realistic light because there is no stereotypical happy ending. The film's point is not for the couple to end up together, or even to really get together at all, but to form a sort of "friendship" where they can escape their marriages and experience a new place, Tokyo, together. The final scene does not make Bob and Charlotte end up together against all odds like other romantic comedies might, but instead they say their goodbyes and that is that. McDonald says “the radical romantic comedy acknowledges that its characters are in search of meaningful and satisfying relationships" (87) and Lost in Translation focuses on the characters creating a meaningful relationship not focused on love. This film relates much more to being an adult rather than being a child because this film shows the audience that looking for love is not always the answer and love will not always jump out at us like it does in earlier romantic comedies. Sometimes it builds off of friendship and takes time and sometimes it does not, but this is not something that we are necessarily ready to learn when we are younger. We don't necessarily know how things will turn out or if we fall in love with someone - sometimes it just happens. We realize this when we are older that love is not something that can be searched for necessarily, but it is something that just happens. It is also okay if it does not, but we have no way of knowing and so it is important to just go where it takes us and trust that if it is supposed to happen it will and if it isn't then it won't and we will go on with our lives.  

Earlier examples of romantic comedies train us to look for love in certain areas and what to feel when that love happens, in stories that have a beginning, a middle and an end. We are made to be, in a sense, taken along this journey of two characters falling in love but Lost in Translation does not give us this as the two characters do not end up together as they are both already married, and never fall in love. However, until I realized this at the end of the film, I was waiting for something to happen the whole time. I even thought I maybe missed something because, literally, nothing happens and based on my previous experiences, I was "trained" to think that something would happen and so it did not sit well with me that nothing did. This is much like when we are younger and do not realize that sometimes it is okay if things do not work out and we think it is the end of the world when it doesn’t. This film also disputes the claim that all romantic comedies are the same and they can be predicted from the start because the common prediction of the film that they will end up together, does not happen. This further complicates the idea of love as being predictable and romantic, and instead shows love in a way where it is not romantic and not as predictable as earlier romantic comedies make it out to be; thus, further evolving the previous definition of what love is. 

            Lost in Translation gives us one of the first prominent examples of a happy ending where the characters do not end up together, but it is not the first as an older romantic comedy Roman Holiday (1953) by William Wyler also ends with the characters walking away from each other. The main problem with this, however, is not that the characters do not end up together, but it is that it happens so early on in the development of romantic comedies. Yes, the ending is the most realistic ending possible in that scenario, but it still did not sit well with me. I did not realize why I was not able to accept it until after experiencing many more romantic comedies and after my own definition of love changed because at the time I still believed love was as simple as it is originally portrayed in my earlier experiences with romantic comedies. While I wish that I had the knowledge I gained from the other romantic comedies at the time I watched Roman Holiday, I did not and I realized that once again, the romantic comedy embodied a younger and innocent version of myself. The fact of the matter was that I was simply not ready to accept the fact that sometimes the happy ending is the characters not ending up together and it does not always end with love conquering all. I was not ready to see that until after experiencing modern romantic comedies that resemble life as we get older that over time introduced me and showed me to the idea that such an ending was okay. I think that while romantic comedies all have their own lessons within it that correspond to their time period, it is hard to sometimes see all of those lessons at the initial time the romantic comedy is experienced, much like life. Sometimes we are not ready to see the meanings of things simply because we are not ready, and this can contribute to why the question of what love is has so many different viewpoints. The question of what love is so complicated to answer, and everyone has different definitions of what love is because everyone is at different stages in their experiences and no one has the exact same experiences, just like how no two romantic comedies are exactly the same. 

            Knocked Up (2007) by Judd Apatow serves as part of the end of the romantic comedy journey as it is one of the last and most modern romantic comedies we have watched. This film shows once again a different and more complicated view of love as now another life, a baby’s life, is thrown into the equation. It is not just the two main characters anymore and the world does not seem to revolve around only them anymore. While it is easy to watch this film and argue that it isn't true love because Alison gives Ben an ultimatum and forces him to grow up in order to be with her and it shows not what love is but what it isn't, it in fact just shows a different type of love. It is harder for us to accept that this type of love is not a “sweeping off your feet” type of love because in earlier romantic comedies that is what we are taught is true love, but it is a type of love that means sacrificing parts of your own happiness for someone else and some may argue nothing shows love more than that. As I argued before, the timing of these examples of love is important when answering our own question of what is love and it is again shown. The lesson that sometimes love can mean you have to change, and it is not perfect is not something that is easy to comprehend when one is younger and when one has only seen romantic comedies that exhibit this type of love. But gradually over time, romantic comedies such as Knocked Up are able to draw upon previous themes and aspects of the stereotypical romantic comedy to address new and more complicated aspects to what love is. 

My view of romantic comedies has changed over the course of this class, but not just because of a deep analysis of one romantic comedy. It has changed because over time the romantic comedies build upon each other and in a way, grow up with you. In a novel like Pride and Prejudice, the characters get married without any real physical contact, representing the purest form of love—the kind I believed in when I was a little girl running around the house in a princess dress waiting for a prince to sweep me off my feet. In stories like that, you never read about the hard parts or the complications that come along with love because stories like that shelter you from the problems, just like when you are little. A story like this provides us with the fundamentals for our answer to what love is but it is the romantic comedies that are viewed after and as we grow older that build upon this foundation to give us our own realistic version of what love is. As I continued through the romantic comedies, they addressed more issues and drew attention to things that were shielded from the audience before. Just like when you are growing up, these romantic comedies became more and more mature and realistic. Your parents stop filtering what you see and hear, just like how Hayes Code stops filtering what we see in the movies as time goes on. Some may argue that old romantic comedies give you more hope because they are the very definition of a stereotypical ending full of happiness and innocence, much like a Disney princess movie. However, I argue that it is the modern romantic comedies, the ones that more resemble real life and the ones that do not always have that stereotypical happy ending, that give the audience the most hope and show what love really is. 

This course and these romantic comedies showed me that love is not simple, and it is not stereotypical, but it is something that adjusts and adapts over time, just like all of these romantic comedies do. Love is not something that can simply be defined by one definition, but it is something that is different for everyone and is changing constantly by time period. In fact, our own definitions of love are different as we grow older and change over time—our definition of love at ten years old is not the same as when we are twenty of fifty years old. It is something that sometimes is hard for an outside viewer like the audience to see because they are not experiencing it themselves and while that might not be their version of love, it can be someone else's. Love is that stereotypical happy ending, but it can also be knowing when to walk away and that is what makes the idea of love so enticing and why we have not been able to get enough of romantic comedies for as long as they have been around. It is the fact that it is unpredictable, despite how predictable it may seem. It is the fact that love has the power to make whatever it takes to get it worth it, and that is what gives the audience hope that someday they will have the chance to find something that makes everything else worth it, just like in a romantic comedy.