Glad I Finally Met You: An Exploration of Identity and Self Doubt by Hannah Lathrop

Hannah Lathrop

Professor Sinowitz

Tps:Romantic Comedy

11 March 2020

Glad I Finally Met You: An Exploration of Identity and Self Doubt

Cameron Crowe’s Say Anything (1989) opens with the perfect summation of high school graduation: "I don't feel anything," Lloyd’s (John Cusack) best friend Corey (Lili Taylor) says. The group of friends talks about phony yearbook messages and Lloyd's possible date/scam with the school's top student Diane (Ione Skye). It seems like doubt colors the entire film. Lloyd struggles to find what he wants to do with his life; Diane questions whether she should study abroad or stay with her father. However, Crowe addresses this doubt with authentic characters and conversations. The film Say Anything identifies and commiserates with an existential moment in young adults' lives: high school graduation.

When I was a high school senior, the last thing I wanted to do was make a decision about my future. However, despite constantly brushing off college applications, my classmates were in similar positions. At eighteen, no one knew what to do, so I thought I'd be fine in the end. I studied well in high school: I graduated valedictorian, rank sixth in my year, from a highly rated school district. That is only to say that I didn't expect to be completely floundering when acceptance letters came around. Maybe I thought too much of my high school accolades or maybe my lack of direction came across in my applications, but all of my choices rejected or wait-listed me. 

At that time, my ego took a drastic blow. I suddenly didn’t have my life as put together as I thought. I dreaded the question “What are your plans for the future?” and had half the confidence as Lloyd when answering “I don't know.” Obviously, I was a bit melodramatic. I applied late to several schools and committed to DePauw on decision day (virtually at the last minute). Like Lloyd, I turned to music, listening to Ben Folds’ “Army” in mock celebration, feeling both reassured and out of my depth. 

I felt my teenage years came to a climax of insecurity and confusion at graduation. It represented moving on, and I was scared. I don't remember the speech given at my graduation, but I remember Diane's parting words. She says “I have, I have to be honest though, I have all the hope and ambition in the world. But when I think about the future, the truth is, I am really...scared.” While Diane has only things to look forward to, her speech illustrates her openness yet fear for the future. Offstage, she later remarks to her dad, “I was standing up there and looking at all the people, and I felt like they didn't know me.” Diane begins to question herself at a time when a part of her life is coming to an end. 

In contrast with Diane, Lloyd is self-assured, yet he lacks direction. He doesn’t lie to himself or pretend to have all the answers. He tells his career counselor, “How many people really know what they want though? I mean, a lot of them think that they have to know, right? But inside, they don't really know, so, I don't know. But I know that I don't know.” He tells a dinner party, he doesn't “want to sell anything, buy anything or process anything as a career.” The judgement is palabable as Lloyd sits at the end of the table, all eyes on him. He's not trying to impress people; he's being himself. While other characters press for more of an answer, he stands by his uncertainty.

Neither character has to face their problems alone; instead, the two help change each other's flaws. Diane feels like she can be herself with Lloyd. Similarly, Lloyd finds what he's passionate about, he says, “I know. But then I reconsidered. 'Cause I figured out what I really wanna do with my life, what I want to do for a living is I wanna be with your daughter. I'm good at it.” The solution’s nothing much, but that’s the point. While it may not be a career, he has a goal. Lloyd found the most respectable thing he could do with his life: make the woman he loves happy.

In the end, the characters are rewarded for their struggles. Thus, the ending of the film is optimistic about the success of Diane and Lloyd's relationship. The flight takeoff serves as an analogy to the beginning of their relationship; therefore, the bell ringing at the end of the film indicates the relationship’s safety. The final scene draws a comparison to Mike Nichols’ The Graduate (1967). Wherein, the two lovers, Benjamin Braddock (Dustin Hoffman) and Elaine Robinson (Katharine Ross), escape Elaine’s wedding on a bus. Yet, after the adrenaline’s worn off, Benjamin and Elaine stare silently ahead of them. However, while The Graduate leaves the future of the couple ambiguous, in Say Anything, Diane and Lloyd break that tension physically. Lloyd holds onto Diane as the plane takes off indicating their closeness. Crowe answers the question posed by the end of The Graduate: the future is promising.

Everything feels really important as a high schooler, and the pressure about the future can sometimes be unbearable.  I definitely did not have my life figured out at eighteen, and I think almost no one does. Yet, Say Anything handles these doubts without condescension or judgement. I could identify with Diane's desire to be known and with Lloyd's lack of direction, and as Diane and Lloyd grew as people throughout the film, I saw myself too. While doubt plays a large role in the characters’ lives, the young couple learn to overcome it. Thus, the film ends optimistically looking forward. The film Say Anything respects this struggle and suggests a happy ending to it all.