The Race to get Married: Marriage as a Competitive Sport Between Women in Pride & Prejudice - Natalie Brunini
The Race to get Married: Marriage as a Competitive Sport Between Women in Pride & Prejudice
Throughout the novel the main focus tends to be on the relationships between the female and male characters and the different kinds of arrangements that exist between the two. While interactions between female characters are commonly presented, they tend to be glossed over. Given the drastic inequality between men and women during this time period, Mrs. Bennet’s five daughters rely on men to ensure they have a secure future. This situation pushes Mrs. Bennet to take a strong interest in her daughter’s romantic lives, causing external pressure for the girls to get married. While it is clear that Mrs. Bennet’s thoughts are preoccupied by successfully marrying off her daughters, the majority of interactions between the neighbors, as well as the sisters tend to be motivated by these same competitive thoughts.
While the readers do not see numerous depictions of friendship in the novel, the examples that are given reflect competitive spirit, signaling that this is perhaps the majority of friendships in the Regency era. Mrs. Bennet’s friendship with Lady Lucas, for example, is often filled with tension, especially when Charlotte gets married before the Bennet girls. Austen writes, “Lady Lucas could not be insensible of triumph on being able to retort on Mrs. Bennet the comfort of having a daughter well married; and she called at Longbourn rather oftener than usual to say how happy she was” (Austen, 157). Since Mrs. Bennet and Lady Lucas are one of few adult friendships the audience sees, it hints that friendship between neighbors is built largely on competition. Later on in the novel, Elizabeth says in regards to Lydia and Wickham’s pairing, “under such misfortune as this, one cannot see too little of one’s neighbours….Let them triumph over us at a distance, and be satisfied” (Austen, 301). Thus, in times of turmoil the Bennet sisters are embarrassed to be seen by the neighbors, emphasizing a competitive environment in the neighborhood. This competition between neighbors often leads to competition within the sisters as well, while Mrs. Bennet encourages competition between the sisters so as to look better than the neighbors, she also strives to ensure a secure future for them.
Throughout Pride & Prejudice the readers see the various Bennet girls get close to certain men, and when this occurs, and the prospect of marriage is near, it is clear that Mrs. Bennet is pleased. When Jane and Mr. Bingley become engaged, Austen writes, “At that moment, she cared for no other” (Austen, 350) insinuating that now that Jane is about to be married, she is quickly her mother’s favorite child. Mrs. Bennet also makes the competition more pronounced by comparing the daughter’s to one another. In reference to Jane and her beauty, Mrs. Bennet says, “I often tell my other girls they are nothing to her” (Austen, 79). This sisterly competition is one that is pronounced as well by all five daughters being out at once, and able to be proposed to. When Lady Catherine learns that all five sisters are out at once she says, “All! What, all five out at once? Very odd! And you only the second. The younger ones out before the elder ones are married! (Austen, 191). Here, Lady Catherine is confused because she thinks that letting all the sisters out at once will lead to sisterly competition in a race to get married. However, Elizabeth responds by denying this competition occurs, and instead talking about their affection towards one another. While Elizabeth and Jane are able to manage the sisterly competition, Lydia takes an approach closer to her mother.
Overtly consumed by the prospect of men and marriage, Lydia pairs herself with George Wickham, an unrespectable man. While the rest of the family see the situation as dishonorable, Lydia gloats about how she is married first, and how her husband is by-and-far the best. While Lydia’s behavior is seen as unacceptable to nearly everyone, Austen tells of Mrs. Bennet’s thoughts by writing that, “To know that her daughter would be married was enough. She was disturbed by no fear for her felicity, nor humbled by any remembrance of her misconduct” (Austen, 312-313). Thus, Mrs. Bennet was simply happy to know her daughter was married, despite the shame it brought. Lydia similar to her mother, uses her marriage to mean she is superior, telling Jane, “I take your place now, and you must go lower, because I am a married woman” (Austen, 322), in addition she tells her mother, “I am sure my sisters must all envy me” (Austen, 322). Lydia’s competition towards her sisters are a direct response to the environment that has been brought on by her mother, Mrs. Bennet. While the relationship between the Bennet girls and their neighbors, as well as the sisters themselves, are seen as riddled with rivalry and tension, Elizabeth and Jane do a good job of avoiding this behavior. Yet, despite their nonchalant attitude towards finding a husband their interactions are still heavy with female-to-female competition as shown by the rivalry between the Bennet and Bingley girls.
While the Bingley girls are from new money, the Bennet sisters are from old, causing tension between the two due to different types of behavior. Furthermore, the Bingley girls and the sisters compete for the interest of the same men, causing increased tension. Caroline Bingley, specifically, has strong feelings for Mr. Darcy, who is in turn, interested in Elizabeth. Thus, interactions between the two girls are often negative, such as Caroline telling Mr. Darcy her opinions of Elizabeth in hopes to swap his opinion. Caroline tells Mr. Darcy, “How very ill Miss Eliza Bennet looks this morning, Mr. Darcy...She is grown so brown and coarse! Louisa and I were agreeing that we should not have known her again” (Austen, 282). These negative remarks do little to sway Mr. Darcy, but present the reality of trying to secure a respectable husband. Caroline also reaches out to Darcy’s sister Georgiana to try and sway her opinion as well. Due to Caroline’s negative attitude towards her, Elizabeth is convinced it is the sole work of the Bingley sisters that Jane and Mr. Bingley are kept apart. In reality it is Mr. Darcy, however, while Elizabeth is often rational, she believes it is the sisters fault given she has been conditioned to believe in female-to-female competition. The rivalry between the two sets of sisters reflects how even the rational and intelligent characters of Jane and Elizabeth find competition surrounding them as they loosley try to secure a husband.
While female competition is most easily seen in character interactions, it is also shown, less obviously, through the three main types of marriages that Austen depicts. Austen writes of three types of marriage: marriage for love, security, and attraction. Because of the different examples given for the various types and the way she writes about each marriage, it invites the audience to have various reactions to the pairings and to compare and critique the characters who do get married. Love is to be seen as the ideal of marriage, which Elizabeth and Jane receive, meanwhile Charlotte and Mr. Collins marry for economical reasons, and Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, as well as Lydia and Wickham, marry for attraction. The audience is motivated to compare and rank the marriages in a similar way that Austen does. For example, in class, we ranked the marriages, deciding those who were marrying for love were best off, and those for superficial reasons, worst off. Elizabeth and Jane, the two most sane characters, are those who marry for love. They also marry the two highly respected male characters in the novel, thus, the audience is more likely to look at these marriages with respect and admiration. Meanwhile, marriage for security is shown to be a safe option but not necessarily ideal, as shown through Charlotte ending up with one of the biggest fools in the novel, Mr. Collins. While she ends up content, she is not as satisfied as Jane and Elizabeth. Appearance-wise, it is shown Mr. Bennet married Mrs. Bennet for attraction, and given they have grown older, that marriage is now shown to be a joke, and lastly, Lydia and Wickham married to avoid being a disgrace, and so that Lydia could be the first married. The way that Austen presents these types of marriages makes it clear that the audience is supposed to see love as superior to security and attraction. Additionally, Austen’s depiction of the marriages invite the readers to compare and contrast because the characters do that themselves. For example, Elizabeth says once engaged, “I am happier even than Jane; she only smiles, I laugh” (383). Thus, marriage once again becomes a competitive sport for female characters by seeing which character can have the most successful marriage.
The competitiveness between the female characters is heightened in the novel by the lack of rivalry and competition seen in male-to-male relationships. Unfortunately, the readers do not get a large amount of information about homosocial relationships throughout Pride & Prejudice. Yet, the friendship between Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley seems to be both healthy and non-competitive, despite them both interested in marrying. Mr. Darcy’s relationship with Wickham is certainly not a favorable one, but that rests on reasons more related to Wickham’s unfavorable nature than competitiveness. This discrepancy likely stems from the inequality that women faced during this time period, and thus they had to rely on men for security, making a successful marriage much more important for women than men.
Pride & Prejudice is often studied in relation to its depiction of heterosexual relationships that occur in the novel, yet the female-to-female relationships are just as important due to their intense rivalry and the competition that drives them. Interactions between the Bennet sisters, their neighbors, and the Bingley girls, prove that competition is derived largely from the prospect of marriage, turning marriage into a sport by seeing who can have the most successful marriage. Austen’s depiction of marriage for love, security, and attraction heighten this sense of competition for the readers by signaling that some marriages are better than others, often those revolving around love. Because this rivalry isn't seen as often in the men in the novel, it is most likely due to the overwhelming amount of reliance women feel towards men in securing a stable future. Considering that the five Bennet sisters are not able to keep their own house once their father passes, marriage is seen as a sport that is not only competitive, but also time-sensitive. Like sports today, Austen’s depiction of marriage during the Regency era shows it to be the competition that had everyone invested from the sidelines and trying to beat others.
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