"Pride and Prejudice" and the Bennet's Failed Attempt at Parenting by Mary Grace

Mary Grace Cusumano

Professor Sinowitz

ENG 255

11 March 2020

Pride and Prejudice and the Bennet's Failed Attempt at Parenting

While parents always want the best for their children, sometimes their efforts can be counterproductive. Through Jane Austen’s indirect discourse, the readers learn that “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife” (Austen, 3). This universal truth is embodied throughout Mrs. Bennett’s character in the novel. From the very beginning, we learn that Mrs. Bennett’s ultimate goal is to get her five daughters married into a well-established estate, hoping that as parents, her and Mr. Bennet will be supported as well. In the 19^th century, only a male can inherit the family estate, therefore, the Bennet’s fall in an unfortunate situation. However, due to Mrs. Bennet’s obsession with marriage and social status and Mr. Bennet’s absence as a father, they both were unable to give their children a proper upbringing. 

            While Mrs. Bennet’s main goal is to get her daughters married, which is noteworthy, we also learn through the narrator that Mrs. Bennet is not the most intelligent. “She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper” (Austen, 5). Mrs. Bennet focuses much of her attention on getting her daughters married so that she completely loses sight of her daughter’s wellbeing. For example, she does everything she absolutely can to make sure that her daughters are noticed when Mr. Bingley arrives. Mrs. Bennet’s efforts are successful since Mr. Bingley becomes interested in Jane Bennet, the eldest daughter. However, she is not satisfied and will go into great lengths in order for Jane to secure the future proposal. When Jane accepts the Bingley’s invitation to visit Netherfield, Mrs. Bennett insists that Jane goes there on horseback, even though it is supposed to rain, so it will force her to stay longer. 

“Jane was therefore obliged to go on horseback; and her mother attended her to the door with many cheerful prognostics of a bad day. Her hopes were answered; Jane had not been gone long before it rained hard. Her sisters were uneasy for her, but her mother was delighted. The rain continued the whole evening without intermission; Jane certainly could not come back” (Austen, 23).  

For a parent, this act seems extremely selfish since she could have endangered the life of Jane in order for Jane’s stay to be extended at Netherfield. It is clearly a deliberate act of desperation played by Mrs. Bennet in order for Jane to have Mr. Bingley’s undivided attention. 

            Despite the fact that Mrs. Bennet refuses to allow Jane to return home after her trip, some may say that it is understandable to why Mrs. Bennet did it. In the eighteenth and nineteenth century, to have a male heir was the most important and daughters were seen as an economic inconvenience. Therefore, having five daughters does not exactly put the Bennet’s in the best position. Since Mr. Collins will acquire the estate once Mr. Bennet dies, the Bennet women are not provided for and Mrs. Bennet cannot fathom this news. “It was a subject on which Mrs. Bennet was beyond the reach of reason; and she continued to rail bitterly against the cruelty of settling an estate away from a family of daughters, in favour of a man whom nobody cared anything about” (Austen, 45). Obviously, Austen exaggerates her nagging and obsessive behavior, but it highlights the pressure Mrs. Bennet is feeling trying to give away her daughters. Her actions show that she was attempting to get her daughters married is wrong and perhaps even counterproductive.

In her quest to find a suitable bachelor, it is evident from the text that Mrs. Bennet prefers one daughter over the other. Mrs. Bennet’s view on the marriage she intends for Elizabeth is very clear, “Elizabeth was the least dear to hear of all her children; and though the man and the match were quite good enough for her, the worth of each was eclipsed by Mr. Bingley and Netherfield” (Austen, 75). Austen turns the reader’s attention to the relationship between Mrs. Bennet and Elizabeth. It is apparent that Elizabeth is not her favorite daughter, and in addition, Mrs. Bennet does not think much of the marriage that she has in mind for Elizabeth. Therefore, the marriage plans for Elizabeth seem businesslike, just like the plans Mrs. Bennet has made for Jane. However, Austen deliberately creates a difference between the two daughters as to what extent Mrs. Bennet’s personal feelings towards her daughters play a role in defining the plans. When focusing on the fact that Mrs. Bennet does not seem to like Elizabeth as much, Austen makes Mrs. Bennet’s plans to give her away in marriage to Mr. Collins seem spiteful, or as punishment because Elizabeth is not as compliant as Jane is. Rather, Elizabeth is confident, speaks her mind, and does not care to deal with any of Mrs. Bennet’s antics. Because Mrs. Bennet is over obsessed with getting her daughters married, Mr. Collins' proposal shows that she has little consideration for how it makes Elizabeth feel.

            One of the main character traits that causes Mrs. Bennet to be perceived as a foolish woman and mother is her nervous disposition and her tendency to refuse responsibility for her children’s behavior. Usually, Mrs. Bennet tends to have exaggerated nervous attacks whenever things do not go according to her plans. For example, when Lydia elopes with Wickham, Mrs. Bennet breaks down completely.

 “Mrs. Bennet, to whose apartment they all repaired … received them exactly as might be expected; with tears and lamentations of regret … and complaints of her own sufferings and ill usage, blaming everybody but the person to whose ill judging indulgence the errors of her daughter must be principally owing” (Austen, 186). 

Mrs. Bennet is at least partly to blame for Lydia’s faults and they should acknowledge that she is the cause for Lydia’s actions. If Mrs. Bennet had been more aware of her youngest daughter’s behavior and had corrected her in time, Lydia would not have eloped with Wickham. Also, Mrs. Bennet’s push for marriage could have made Lydia feel the need to be pushed into marriage. However, Mrs. Bennet’s foolish ignorance made it quite impossible for her to check her daughter’s behavior. 

            In this parent duo, Mr. Bennet seems to be more of a likeable character when compared to Mrs. Bennet. Mr. Bennet is portrayed as being “so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice” (Austen, 4). Throughout the novel, Austen focuses on his sarcastic side, however, this sarcasm is Mr. Bennet’s biggest downfall as a parent. By being sarcastic, he does not take things as seriously as he should which consequently affects the upbringing of his children. Mr. Bennet neglects to correct his wife’s behavior and his daughter’s behavior because he enjoys their silliness. For example, the entailment of his estate is serious business because it leaves Mrs. Bennet and their children unsupported for the future. While Mrs. Bennet is clearly more aware of the situation that they are in, which prompts her to make ridiculous matchmaking attempts, Mr. Bennet is only interested to see how foolish Mr. Collins is in his proposal to Elizabeth: 

“Mr. Bennet’s expectations were fully answered. His cousin [Mr. Collins] was as absurd as he had hoped, and he listened to him with the keenest enjoyment, maintaining at the same time the most resolute composure of countenance, and except in an occasional glance at Elizabeth, requiring no partner in his pleasure” (Austen, 49). 

This shows that Mr. Bennet just wanted to see how ridiculous Mr. Collins would act for his pure entertainment, and through this proposal, it is clear that Mr. Bennet thinks that Elizabeth’s opinion is the only one that is worth his time. 

            In addition, Mr. Bennet never corrects his daughter's inappropriate behavior until someone else points it out to him, which gives him no other option than to intervene. Near the end of the novel, Elizabeth realizes that “her father [is] contented with laughing at [his daughters] and would never exert himself to restrain the wild giddiness of his youngest daughters” (Austen, 147). For instance, Mary Bennet has much potential to embarrass her family because she has convinced herself that she is a talented singer and piano player, but she is actually not good at all. Mr. Bennet puts a stop to her playing, but not because he wants to. 

“[Elizabeth] looked at her father to entreat his interference, lest Mary should be singing all night. He took the hint, and when Mary had finished her second song, said aloud, ‘That will do extremely well, child. You have delighted us long enough. Let the other ladies have time to exhibit’” (Austen, 73). 

The way Mr. Bennet attempts to keep his daughter’s behavior under control is not very friendly, and his tone shows that he does not think very much of Mary’s performance to start with. Mr. Bennet is completely aware of Mrs. Bennet’s antics, but he still does not bother to make her stop what he is doing. For example, the only reaction he gave to Mrs. Bennet when sending Jane to Netherfield on horseback is that he points out the potential danger it could have on Jane, but he does not put a stop to it.

“‘Well my dear,’ said Mr. Bennet, when Elizabeth had read the note aloud, ‘if your daughter should have a dangerous fit of illness, if she should die, it would be a comfort to know that it was all in pursuit of Mr. Bingley, and under your orders’” (Austen, 23). 

As with Mrs. Bennet, Austen does not focus on deliberate neglect but more on character traits that make Mr. Bennet an inadequate parent, but by having Mr. Bennet acknowledge the error of his ways, Austen shows that it is possible to make amends for being ignorant about things. 

            Austen finds faults in both of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet’s characters in their attempt to raise their children. She criticizes Mrs. Bennet because of her ignorance and foolishness of her ways. Her behavior is embarrassing for her own family, especially for Mr. Bennet, and also for other people in society. Mrs. Bennet’s parenting skills are far from adequate due to her obsessive and controlling behavior when it comes to finding eligible bachelors for her daughters. She does not realize that her behavior has the potential to make her own daughters miserable. In addition, she can be selfish at times since she cares more about her own wellbeing than the wellbeing of her daughters. As for Mr. Bennet, he neglects important parental duties. Austen presents Mr. Bennet as a sarcastic man who makes fun of his daughters and his wife rather than trying to improve their behaviors. Mr. Bennet is partially to blame for Mrs. Bennet’s absurd match-making behavior because she fully understands, despite all of her other flaws, the importance of securing a future for her daughters. While Mr. and Mrs. Bennet do have their children’s best interest at heart, their approach to parenting is where they failed. 

  

Work Cited

Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice . Edited by Donald J. Gray and Mary A. Favret, 4th ed., W.W. Norton & Company , 2001.